got my period. closing off another cycle. starting a new one.
i have my swan lake tutu and 10 pages of material i wrote a few night ago after a good long cry.
not sure how it will all piece together. trying to stay open and let my body lead the way.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
magicians
magicians in my life seem to be a theme.
a google alert yesterday brought me to the website of Jimmy Grippo - a magician, hypnotist, and heavy weight boxing trainer...
it's funny, because weeks ago when I met with the random theater/producer guy, he asked me if I was related to Jimmy Grippo. he knew of him in the context of being a boxing trainer.
now that i know more about him, who knows? i might actually be related.
alchemy
started 2 new workshops - both changing my life.
isn't that what this is all about?
alchemy.
i chose the alchemist card in an archetype exercise we were doing in Victoria's workshop.
in Heather's workshop, i met a man in class who i was so instantly drawn to, i don't know what to make of it yet. my work in the class is evolving into themes of the moon, the ocean, my period.
have to come up with 30-60 seconds of material for Victoria's class. not sure what to do yet.
thinking about sex a lot these days, especially in relationship to spirituality and healing.
sacred prostitution, courtesans...
talking about alchemy, i realized that in addition to The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho also wrote 11 Minutes which is one of my absolute favorite books - about a prostitute named Maria and her journey into finding love. i'll never forget the scene where she has a spontaneous orgasm just standing in the street.
i want to read that book again.
isn't that what this is all about?
alchemy.
i chose the alchemist card in an archetype exercise we were doing in Victoria's workshop.
in Heather's workshop, i met a man in class who i was so instantly drawn to, i don't know what to make of it yet. my work in the class is evolving into themes of the moon, the ocean, my period.
have to come up with 30-60 seconds of material for Victoria's class. not sure what to do yet.
thinking about sex a lot these days, especially in relationship to spirituality and healing.
sacred prostitution, courtesans...
talking about alchemy, i realized that in addition to The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho also wrote 11 Minutes which is one of my absolute favorite books - about a prostitute named Maria and her journey into finding love. i'll never forget the scene where she has a spontaneous orgasm just standing in the street.
i want to read that book again.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
period
got my period yesterday. finally.
feels great to menstruate.
a part of me is regretting going out last night and drinking a little bit and not getting much sleep. wanting to stay open to the intuitive message at this point in my cycle, and fearful that i might have somehow interfered with that. also don't want to negate all the amazing work i did in pilates. was feeling great in my body, and still am, but just a bit uncomfortable in the belly.
i'm going to release all these fears back into the universe and trust that i will receive the messages i need to, trust that my body will show me the way, trust that everything is blossoming at exactly the right time.
breathe....
feels great to menstruate.
a part of me is regretting going out last night and drinking a little bit and not getting much sleep. wanting to stay open to the intuitive message at this point in my cycle, and fearful that i might have somehow interfered with that. also don't want to negate all the amazing work i did in pilates. was feeling great in my body, and still am, but just a bit uncomfortable in the belly.
i'm going to release all these fears back into the universe and trust that i will receive the messages i need to, trust that my body will show me the way, trust that everything is blossoming at exactly the right time.
breathe....
say cheese
out last night with nuli and her new friend, i somehow found myself standing up and performing interpretive dances to embody different kinds of cheeses.
when i got home at 2am, still wired, i decided to create a video log of the experience...
when i got home at 2am, still wired, i decided to create a video log of the experience...
Thursday, February 18, 2010
dream dictation & divine inspiration
woke up early, still partly in dream land, after remembering a vivid dream.
in the dream:
i showed up to teach a workshop, but the people before me took so long that i didn't have time and everyone left except my mom and her friend. so i decided to improvise a performance instead of giving the workshop talk i had planned. i start stretching my leg in arabesque and speaking in a bad British accent, "I usta eat alotta peaches..." and went on to tell some of my own story.
i woke up at that moment and began writing as if someone was dictating to me. if i got stuck i would just stop and close my eyes and wait and then i would hear it and know what to write. it was amazing. i wrote 2 pages of material that i think finally links all the little pieces i've been trying to puzzle together.
maybe that's why i've been sleeping so much this week. i am in my luteal phase, so more receptive to divine inspiration ;)
in the dream:
i showed up to teach a workshop, but the people before me took so long that i didn't have time and everyone left except my mom and her friend. so i decided to improvise a performance instead of giving the workshop talk i had planned. i start stretching my leg in arabesque and speaking in a bad British accent, "I usta eat alotta peaches..." and went on to tell some of my own story.
i woke up at that moment and began writing as if someone was dictating to me. if i got stuck i would just stop and close my eyes and wait and then i would hear it and know what to write. it was amazing. i wrote 2 pages of material that i think finally links all the little pieces i've been trying to puzzle together.
maybe that's why i've been sleeping so much this week. i am in my luteal phase, so more receptive to divine inspiration ;)
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
success
they say that fear of success holds people back much more than fear of failure. i believe it. it's safe, easy, familiar to fail. success on the other hand, brings responsibility, pressure to continue succeeding, judgment, and the big one that gets me - people not liking you!
in school, i used to get answers wrong on tests on purpose just so i wouldn't get a 100% - i didn't want people to hate me because i was smarter than them.
so i think if i really want to be successful as an artist, i need to come to terms with the fact that not everyone will like me and not everyone will like my art. bottom line.
maybe i should start practicing?
in school, i used to get answers wrong on tests on purpose just so i wouldn't get a 100% - i didn't want people to hate me because i was smarter than them.
so i think if i really want to be successful as an artist, i need to come to terms with the fact that not everyone will like me and not everyone will like my art. bottom line.
maybe i should start practicing?
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