inspiration from nature

* The seeds of some trees are so tightly compacted within their
protective covering that only the intense heat of a forest fire can free
them, allowing them to sprout.

* Anthropologists say that in every culture in history, children have played
the game hide and seek.

* With every dawn, when first light penetrates the sea, many seahorse
colonies perform a dance to the sun.

class

got back into dance class this week and feel great. ballet class, actually. amazing how things can come full circle.
it feels freeing to be in class again with the live piano moving me.
very different from the self-tormenting / body-hating days of my past.

realizing the benefits of a regular physical practice -
not only feels good in my body and mind, but i feel more like myself and more connected to the world.

body speaking, i'm listening

got my period. closing off another cycle. starting a new one.

i have my swan lake tutu and 10 pages of material i wrote a few night ago after a good long cry.

not sure how it will all piece together. trying to stay open and let my body lead the way.

magicians

magicians in my life seem to be a theme.

a google alert yesterday brought me to the website of Jimmy Grippo - a magician, hypnotist, and heavy weight boxing trainer...

it's funny, because weeks ago when I met with the random theater/producer guy, he asked me if I was related to Jimmy Grippo. he knew of him in the context of being a boxing trainer.

now that i know more about him, who knows? i might actually be related.

alchemy

started 2 new workshops - both changing my life.
isn't that what this is all about?

alchemy.

i chose the alchemist card in an archetype exercise we were doing in Victoria's workshop.
in Heather's workshop, i met a man in class who i was so instantly drawn to, i don't know what to make of it yet. my work in the class is evolving into themes of the moon, the ocean, my period.

have to come up with 30-60 seconds of material for Victoria's class. not sure what to do yet.

thinking about sex a lot these days, especially in relationship to spirituality and healing.
sacred prostitution, courtesans...
talking about alchemy, i realized that in addition to The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho also wrote 11 Minutes which is one of my absolute favorite books - about a prostitute named Maria and her journey into finding love. i'll never forget the scene where she has a spontaneous orgasm just standing in the street.

i want to read that book again.

period

got my period yesterday. finally.
feels great to menstruate.
a part of me is regretting going out last night and drinking a little bit and not getting much sleep. wanting to stay open to the intuitive message at this point in my cycle, and fearful that i might have somehow interfered with that. also don't want to negate all the amazing work i did in pilates. was feeling great in my body, and still am, but just a bit uncomfortable in the belly.
i'm going to release all these fears back into the universe and trust that i will receive the messages i need to, trust that my body will show me the way, trust that everything is blossoming at exactly the right time.
breathe....

say cheese

out last night with nuli and her new friend, i somehow found myself standing up and performing interpretive dances to embody different kinds of cheeses.

when i got home at 2am, still wired, i decided to create a video log of the experience...