i did it!
was reviewing lines until the very last minute. got a few chuckles from the audience, felt good just to get it out there. and now i feel comfortable and have a base to work with. i think i can be more present, which will make it more honest.
its truly amazing how this whole process works. its really only by doing it, performing, that you can get anywhere. the audience is everything, in a way.
i didn't have anyone i know in the audience, which is good for a first run through. i spoke to a guy afterwards who was a friend of another performer friend and he gave me some feedback which was great. he said it worked overall and the parts about my dad were hilarious and tied in well. i should've asked him more about what didn't work, but oh well. tomorrow will be a new experiment!
i want to add in:
singing/lip-syncing to the song & dance part
maybe some movement to the monologue?
my hula hoop
theres a group of people coming to see me tomorrow, which makes me nervous and excited.
woo hoo!!!
Friday, January 22, 2010
the opportunity to suck at something
I'd like to use this opportunity to suck at something.
I grew up with a lot of pressure to be the best at everything I did, which mostly came from my father, I think. I was put here to live out his unfulfilled dreams or something.
My dad is an Italian immigrant, ex-drug addict, construction worker who spends more time than I do self-grooming, including getting regular manicures. He's also reads the Times and the NY Post cover to cover every day and is obsessed with peace signs. He powerwashed a peace sign into the driveway and also has one manicured onto his left pinky nail at all times. Every time I go home to visit he asks me to help him out in some kind of self-grooming habit. "Hey uh Jess, would mind uh just trimmin the back ova hea-" My mother can't be bothered.
Last time I went home I found a 4-foot tall pot plant growing in the backyard garden.
"Dad, what the hell is that."
"Uh, ya know, ah, it's nothing. Some guys from the job were -uh- joking around and had some -uh- seeds so I wanted to -uh- test it out, ya know, see what would grow."
He's the worst liar. I take after him.
When he's not in his hippied-out stoner zone ranting about politics, he's worshipping everything I do.
In about 2nd grade a wrote a short essay from the perspective of a fetus. "How warm and cozy it is in here! I don't ever wanna leave! Oh no- somethings moving, what's going on.. ahh!!" It won some kind of award in the writing contest that year, and so after celebrating the fact his baby girl was gonna be a famous writer one day, my dad had it framed and hung up in the living room, along with all the photos of me from school and ballet and the baseball team that he coached. To this day if you walk in their house, nothing has been taken down. Ya know how most families will replace the school picture every year with a new one? Well mine are all up there in a row so you get the yearly progression of my frizzy hair and GAP outfits.
Phone conversations with him are the best.
"Hey hun, how ya doin?"
"Oh ya know, I'm good, just started workin on a new dance piece-"
"AHH thank God! I knew you were gonna back into dance eventually. Rememba those shows you did at Studio Workshop? You were amazing! I swear da Gad, it was like a broadway production with you."
And he often checks in to see if I'm still writing.
"Your so TALENTED jess, you gotta keep writin. I wish I could put words togetha like you can. ya know. Keep it up, hun. Thats how Sylvester Stallone got started. After he wrote Rocky there was nothin getting in his way of bein the star of the movie."
I haven't quite put all the pieces together, but I think all of this must have something to do with my commitment issues.
So like I mentioned earlier, I'd like to dedicate this interpretive dance to Dad and to "sucking at something" just because I can....
I grew up with a lot of pressure to be the best at everything I did, which mostly came from my father, I think. I was put here to live out his unfulfilled dreams or something.
My dad is an Italian immigrant, ex-drug addict, construction worker who spends more time than I do self-grooming, including getting regular manicures. He's also reads the Times and the NY Post cover to cover every day and is obsessed with peace signs. He powerwashed a peace sign into the driveway and also has one manicured onto his left pinky nail at all times. Every time I go home to visit he asks me to help him out in some kind of self-grooming habit. "Hey uh Jess, would mind uh just trimmin the back ova hea-" My mother can't be bothered.
Last time I went home I found a 4-foot tall pot plant growing in the backyard garden.
"Dad, what the hell is that."
"Uh, ya know, ah, it's nothing. Some guys from the job were -uh- joking around and had some -uh- seeds so I wanted to -uh- test it out, ya know, see what would grow."
He's the worst liar. I take after him.
When he's not in his hippied-out stoner zone ranting about politics, he's worshipping everything I do.
In about 2nd grade a wrote a short essay from the perspective of a fetus. "How warm and cozy it is in here! I don't ever wanna leave! Oh no- somethings moving, what's going on.. ahh!!" It won some kind of award in the writing contest that year, and so after celebrating the fact his baby girl was gonna be a famous writer one day, my dad had it framed and hung up in the living room, along with all the photos of me from school and ballet and the baseball team that he coached. To this day if you walk in their house, nothing has been taken down. Ya know how most families will replace the school picture every year with a new one? Well mine are all up there in a row so you get the yearly progression of my frizzy hair and GAP outfits.
Phone conversations with him are the best.
"Hey hun, how ya doin?"
"Oh ya know, I'm good, just started workin on a new dance piece-"
"AHH thank God! I knew you were gonna back into dance eventually. Rememba those shows you did at Studio Workshop? You were amazing! I swear da Gad, it was like a broadway production with you."
And he often checks in to see if I'm still writing.
"Your so TALENTED jess, you gotta keep writin. I wish I could put words togetha like you can. ya know. Keep it up, hun. Thats how Sylvester Stallone got started. After he wrote Rocky there was nothin getting in his way of bein the star of the movie."
I haven't quite put all the pieces together, but I think all of this must have something to do with my commitment issues.
So like I mentioned earlier, I'd like to dedicate this interpretive dance to Dad and to "sucking at something" just because I can....
starting somewhere
talked about art in a bar with nuli last night. she had some really great advice of how to approach a creative piece:
nuli's photography work and anything she's ever done is all directed towards her mom, in trying to get her to really hear her, to get a new reaction. it's a theme that brings everything together for her.
being alone and commitment issues are 2 big ones for me. (being alone / feeling alone = underlying most things anyway)
when there's so much out there to choose from, where do you start? how do you stick with one thing? its the same with everything from restaurants to men.
being an only child, there was lots of pressure to be everything and do everything good.
hmm... more later.
i need to move my body now.
- start with things i already know
- be specific and small and personal
nuli's photography work and anything she's ever done is all directed towards her mom, in trying to get her to really hear her, to get a new reaction. it's a theme that brings everything together for her.
being alone and commitment issues are 2 big ones for me. (being alone / feeling alone = underlying most things anyway)
when there's so much out there to choose from, where do you start? how do you stick with one thing? its the same with everything from restaurants to men.
being an only child, there was lots of pressure to be everything and do everything good.
hmm... more later.
i need to move my body now.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
tarot helps
had a tarot session with Golda this morning and am feeling much better about the whole process and about my life in general. it's amazing what a deck of cards and an intuitive soul can reflect back to you.
when i asked about whether or not i should do the performance this weekend, her response was that i should. (if i don't want to, though, it wouldn't be a big deal) she said to "trust it will come to you. spend an hour or so beforehand and let it come to you." so simple, yet so hard to trust.
she described my work as earthy and feminine. even a moon card came up in the spread.
it seems like a sign that i might as well do this.
the healing power of creativity. taking things from the world and making them your own by giving them back to the world in a new way. keeping with the flow of life - taking in and releasing. trusting the body. shared human experience. create the mold rather than conforming to something outside of you.
when i asked about whether or not i should do the performance this weekend, her response was that i should. (if i don't want to, though, it wouldn't be a big deal) she said to "trust it will come to you. spend an hour or so beforehand and let it come to you." so simple, yet so hard to trust.
she described my work as earthy and feminine. even a moon card came up in the spread.
it seems like a sign that i might as well do this.
the healing power of creativity. taking things from the world and making them your own by giving them back to the world in a new way. keeping with the flow of life - taking in and releasing. trusting the body. shared human experience. create the mold rather than conforming to something outside of you.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
deer in headlights
feeling completely unsure about the performance i'm supposed to be doing this friday and saturday.
it's now tuesday, and work has been so busy (or i'm just making it busy) - it's like there's so much to do all at once.
and what am i trying to say in this piece i'm going to perform? what do i need to say right now? how do i make it work? why am i even trying to do this? what business do i have getting up on stage for 5 minutes when i havent been rehearsing anything? practice, practice... the only practice i'm getting lately is in running around like a madwoman and also talking to clients and potential clients. i have not been dancing, or acting. i have been writing and reading and googling weird things at all hours of the night. building material, things below the surface. is now the right time to give it a chance to sprout?
ehhhhhh not sure!
realizing that i do not like working on my own. need a mentor/director/partner/group in all of this. glad to be start MGP with the girls from heather's workshop.
it's now tuesday, and work has been so busy (or i'm just making it busy) - it's like there's so much to do all at once.
and what am i trying to say in this piece i'm going to perform? what do i need to say right now? how do i make it work? why am i even trying to do this? what business do i have getting up on stage for 5 minutes when i havent been rehearsing anything? practice, practice... the only practice i'm getting lately is in running around like a madwoman and also talking to clients and potential clients. i have not been dancing, or acting. i have been writing and reading and googling weird things at all hours of the night. building material, things below the surface. is now the right time to give it a chance to sprout?
ehhhhhh not sure!
realizing that i do not like working on my own. need a mentor/director/partner/group in all of this. glad to be start MGP with the girls from heather's workshop.
Monday, January 18, 2010
tidal acceleration
wikipedia says...
The Earth's day has increased in length over time. The original length of one day, when the Earth was new about 4.5 billion years ago, was about six hours as determined by computer simulation. It was 21.9 hours 620 million years ago as recorded by rhythmites (alternating layers in sandstone). This phenomenon is due to tides raised by the Moon which slow Earth's rotation. Because of the way the second is defined, the mean length of a day is now about 86,400.002 seconds, and is increasing by about 1.7 milliseconds per century (an average over the last 2,700 years). See tidal acceleration for details.
Friday, January 15, 2010
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